An erection is not necessary for sex. This may come as news to you if most of what you know about sex you learned from movies and pornography. But it's true. If you are one of the many people whose sex lives don't involve a flesh-and-blood penis, this is not news to you. Millions of people have amazing sex with no penis at all - hard, soft, or in between. But it remains a bit of a head-scratcher for the millions more who either have a penis or like to have sex with someone who has a penis. This is not surprising when you consider that everything, everywhere and practically everyone - from your doctor to your religious leader to your favorite celebrity - talks about sex as if it means intercourse and talks about intercourse as something that requires an erection. But it's not true.

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The difficulty to insert penis can be due to tight vaginal walls. Tightening of the vaginal wall is called vaginismus. This can be made more lax by increasing the foreplay, having confidence in your partner and using vaginal dilators. The dilators can be used at home or even at the gynecologists. The penis goes into the vagina very easily. When the penis goes into the vagina it must go far enough that- if you are a virgin- it will break a small layer of tissue covering up the vagina known as the hymen.
When men outreach to me; it's usually about their fears around having and sustaining erections. Men just like women worry about being enough and getting it on. And in our culture, it's all about penetrative sex intercourse , big hard cocks, and staying power. But what if it's not? What if we allowed men to feel their bodies in different ways and as a result get to experience sex in the full spectrum of intimacy and pleasure? A hard penis is not everything when it comes to making love.