Sadly, the general consensus of "convert or nope out" sounds like what will end up happening. We need to believe fully and then we make choices, not the other way around. Not in endless discussions of temple marriage, not ever. Perhaps it was just her personality but I find most doctors repulsive.
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Plan on rolling your eyes A LOT at family get torturers together. If it seems one is unable to find a spouse within the church, which commandment do you keep. And there are questions and lessons that dual-faith couples face that zero-faith or single-faith households do not. Simply tell him that you feel like your relationship is stagnating, and you'd like to talk about where it is going.
I also have an MPH degree, and am currently working and trying to support us while he's in school. Honestly, I have given up on lds men as a single 25 year old. Her attempts to convert you will get stronger and stronger, if you make it clear to her that you will not under any circumstances convert, she'll bounce. She never mentioned TSCC. I think you are all lucky to have such successful husbands, and I think in any marriage it is important to keep your own identity especially when you have children. Take issues as they arise, rather than throwing away what could be a good experience for you and her based off of what might happen. Your relationship with your family will be healed, and so will you.
You should certainly still date even if you are not looking for a marriage partner. IF she becomes an Atheist free thinker like you then consider keeping her. I guess the only risk is your husband having an affair with someone at work. So that may be the end of it there. I went to BYU.